aCCORDING TO MY SEATMATE... "CRASH and BURN!"

Haha! I don't know why but it seems that whatever hardwork i'll do, my mind goes blank in front of a testpaper! hence the term "CRASH AND BURN!"

STanding in the Rain and crying is not a good combination

I hate crying
i hate being such a baby
but what can i do?
the only way to make me feel good is crying all my frustrations out.

i was SOOOOOOOOOOO tired last night
i have class straight from 7am until 7pm
I just don't understand why HE can't understand the word TIRED
i DON'T need HIS problems that night
I DON'T EVEN CARE IF HE DID NOT SLEEP BECAUSE OF USELESS NONSENSE.
WE BOTH HAVE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES
WE BOTH HAVE PROBLEMS
WE BOTH HAVE THINGS TO DO
IN MY CASE,
I JUST WANT YOU TO SHUT UP AND LISTEN
LET ME SLEEP!
LET ME REST!
SO SHUT UP!

so there i was shouting my frustrations out UNDER THE RAIN AND crying because he does not understand when he needs TO SHUT UP!

so right now, i'm sick. period.

Katamaran

haha..

i know that i should be studying right now but i am just sooooo tamad!

gosh, i'm supposed to do my biostat activity but i am postponing it until saturday again!

haha!

talk about tamad

disoriented

i don't know what god wants me to do..

grabe ang gulo ng isip ko dahil sa mga nangyayari..

una yung nasa dati kong dorm..

ewan ko ba...

napakababaw na dahilan, tapos malaki ang pinag-awayan.

kaya nga para matapos na umalis nalang ako

then ito naman sa bago,

kasi naman ung kabatchmate ko,

siya nga lang niyaya ko, dinala naman ang buong barangay,

tuloy inis sa akin yung isa.

kaso nga lang naisip ko naman kung bakit siya magagalit,

eh hindi naman niya pagmamay-ari ang buong dorm.

ewan ko...

tahimik muna sana ako...

tapos ngayon sa monthly ko

hindi ko alam kung kulang pa ba ang piang-aralan ko

marami kasi akong hindi nasagutan..

pero kung mejo nag-aral lang ako... baka maging confident pa ako

ako ba ang may mali?

ako ba ang may pagkukulang..?

ano ba ang gusto ni God na gawin ko?

gulong-gulo ang isipan ko.

SOBRANG NAKAKAASAR TALAGA!

nakakainis! akala mo kung sino. amf!

nakihiram kasi ako ng cellphone na pang-alarm kasi nalowbatt ang fone ko at wala pa akong nabibiling charger. hahaha mahirap pa kasi ako ngayon eh. halos lahat ng pera ko naubos sa libro at iba pang mga projects para sa mga majors namin. so sorry naman kung ala akong pambili diba!

so back to the story... so hiniram ko ang cellphone ni "" kasi nga wala akong pang-alarm sa umaga. so nagising ako ng 5 (naunahan ko pa nga sa paggising ang nagbabantay sa dorm namin eh) in the morning para magluto ng breakfast namin. so pagakabangon ko inialarm ko ang cellphone niya ng mga around 6 am para magising siya tapos nagluto na ako sa baba. then umakyat ako kasi kinuha ko ang bedsheet ko sa bed niya, at nang pagkakuha ko na sa gamit ko, naalimpungatan pa siya! so after ko na matapos ihanda ang breakfast at nauna ng kumain, napansin ko na mga bandang 6:15 na ng umaga. ginising ko pa siya ulit. nag-iinarte pa ngang maligo eh. naawa naman ako kasi baka daw malate siya kaya pinauna ko na maligo. so nag-antay2x pa ako sa labas nun ha. so in short, malalate ako sa klase. hindi mo maiiwasan sa akin ang mainis at magmadali. pinapauna ko pa siya na umalis para di na malate. SIYA PA ANG MAY GANANG MAGALIT HA KASI DAW MASYADO KONG BINIBLAME SA KANYA ANG PAGIGING LATE KO. ABA'Y SANA NAGPASALAMAT KA NALANG KASI PINAGHANDAAN KA NA NGA NG PAGKAIN AT GINISING AT LAHAT2X! KAYA MAGMULA NGAYON, KANYA2X NA TAYO. SPOILED NA BATA.

i am sad....

i am not satisfied with what i have got

i mean..

i know i passed

but i expect something more

dear god!

i really wanna cry

but then if it is your will


then it shall be done

SUMMMAH!!!

IT'S SO HOT IN HERE!

I WANNA SWIM!

YAH! FOR THIS YEAR, I LEARNED HOW TO BIKE! YAY!

AND ALSO RIDE A SCOOTER!

YAY!

JUST ONE LAST TEST AND IT'S HOME FREE FOR ME! YIHEE!!!

haha!

finally the end of school is near!

i wanna gi driving hahaha!

but i have to pass first!

even more

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyday i am SOOOO LOADED with CHEMISRY!

i want to rest for just a bit will ya!

it's like waking up in the morning and zombie walk to the bathroom and off to school!

i have eyebags forming beneath my eye!

i haven't got time to fix myself and i feel so pretty damn ugly!

shit!

and these people around me!

can't they understand?!?!?! i am sooo loaded and yet they keep chopping me off!

they keep on BABBLING NONSENSE!

CAN'T YOU SEE!

I AM STRESSED!

SO WILL YOU PLEASE GET OFF MY BACK!

YOU LOUSY SCUMBAG!

SORRY ASSES!

i feel so stupid for believing that all that is happeneing to me aree something good..

now i beleive that stupid reality bites!

they are not really my friends!

they only need me because the want something out of me!

i hope they suffer the consequences of their actions!

i really do hope so!

fucking bastards!

little green monster

when i saw my boyfriend yesterday in his casual formal attire.. i felt a little pang of jealousy...

i mean, although he only wore the attire because they were required to attend the USTV awards, still some thoughts pervaded my mind...

i suddenly had this image that all my former classmates are out there scouting for jobs and passing up their resumes in the different offices in makati, ortigas or wherever...

somehow, when i look at myself, i feel so late for my own train...

i mean, i should be like that too next year but instead, i have to wait for another 2 years...

shocks....

basta que sera sera!

sigh....

A REALLY REALLY BAD DAY....

I am experiencing a totally bad day today...

i don't know how will it get any worse that this....

last night, after i arrived from my boyfriend's place, my friend emong asked me to call my aunt who is a doctor to create a fake medical certificate. i thought that since my aunt is a former classmate and a close friend of the mother of my friend, she would give a slight consideration given the fact that emong needs to take the special exam for his major subjects.

he was absent on his subjects because he was unable to study for his examinations. i take it to be partly my fault because if i haven't decided to go to his place and wait for hazel, none of this would have happened. so when he requested me to furnish a fake medical certificate or official receipt from my aunt, i thought that would ease my guilt and was the solution to the problem. but then, last night, my aunt got so furious with me because she told me that why am i compromising her position as a doctor and blah blah blah about her family blah blah blah what would happen to her patients and blah blah blah blah. for my part, i was deeply traumatized by the incident because

1. it was so embarassing
2. we were not so close and her image of me is now tarnished
3. maybe she would sprout it all in the albores clan
4. she was totally right that i was being stupid
5. i really feel so utterly stupid right now.

but then, she told me that she would let the matter go given the thing that i should not do it again.

i can't help but feel bad about it and harbor a slight anger at emong. (hey i'm still human ain't i?)

second, santi got so furious about it. he told me that i should never ever distract emong when he has exams. i feel bad because one of the people that i don't want to get mad at me was him.

third, i am mad at rendel. i am annoyed at rendel. right now, i don't like rendel.

fourth, my filipino teacher was soooo mad at my attending section because they were so noisy. she gave us a surprise exams and that was all essay! she told us that the next time that she'll meet us, she is going to call out those people that are going to stay and leave the failing people out of the classroom. i feel that i am going to fail because when i re-read my lecture notes, none of them was even the slightest bit right! shet! all the efforts, sleepless nights on doing that stupid filipino research is gonna go down the drain!

and to think i was not even noisy at that time! i was only reading my book!

i dont know what's wrong with my head right now!

oh my golly! i just told my classmates (accidentally) that RENDEL is my boyfriend!

akala ko kasi, yung classmate ko na nagtanung sa akin na nakita ko noong sunday, ay nakita ako kasama ko yung boyfriend ko, pero yun pala mali ang araw! tapos ang ipinepertain nun ay iyung magkasama kami sa labas ng classroom namin! shet!

sorry! wha! anu na ba ang nangyayari sa mundong ibabaw?

Whenever you hear of the place Cotabato City, many would instantly think of the word "terrorism" or "abu sayaff". It is always thought of as a place where bombs are planted in every corner but then, although half of it is true, Cotabato City is not all of that.

As the plane taking me back to my hometown comes to a landing, the first sight that greeted any visitors would be the numerous towering mosque and swaying coconut trees that bids hello to those who see them. Looking down from the plane, you can easily see the the vast and lush greenery of the province below. The sight that shall greet you shall not only entrance you to a peaceful rural vacation but also to a lot more surprising things to come.

Travelling to the heart of the city shall only take you 30 minutes by jeepney. The jeepney ride going to your destination shall show you the marvelous infrustructure of the grand city hall of city. The structure of the City Hall is like a cross-over between the ancient spanish and muslim architecture. The City Hall is the seat of power of the city where the Mayor of the town holds its office.

For lodging, Estosan Hotel gives a luxurious accomodation for those who wants to have a goodnight's sleep after a long travel. The hotel provides comfortable bedrooms for a very reasonable price. If taking a good dip in the water is what you feel like having, then there is a pool situated at the ground floor of the building.

Rumbling tummies is also a priority for the vacationers of the city, Mang Gorio's finest chicken restaurant offers the scrumptuous chicken in town. The restaurant welcomes you with steaming and mouth-watering aroma of its delicacies. The ambience is also an added flavor to your taste. It is pure barrio filipino in its style and manner of serving. You shall never go wrong with this restaurant because it is not only they feed you like a king, they also serve you as if you are too.

The city can also compete with it the gigantic SM of Henry Sy. The local mall, South Seas Mall which is situated at the very core of the town, satiates your need for malling. It is equipped with a huge grocery store and department store. All the products can be bought for a very low price. If having fun is what you want, available at the third floor of the mall, arcades can satisfy the need for speed.

If you're the type of person who wants to party all night long,

the topic of being courted has been an issue for a while in my life right now...

and it has been in my mind lately too...

the fact about how i feel about it..

is still undetermined upto this extent...

i am not a hypocrite.

i know that for a fact, knowing someone likes you or someone is attracted to you, is something that is good to think.

what i'm trying to say is that, i am pretty much flattered about the idea.

i admit, i have lots of insecurities.

i am not pretty, my mom even told me that.

even guys in my highschool days find me, well, weird.

they don't like being paired up to me

and the idea of someone liking me is miraculous to my classmates ears.

so, that is where my insecurities started.

but when i stepped up to college, i was shocked when guys started professing their love to me.

some even flirted with me, and so i flirt back.

hearing words like "you're pretty" or "you're so cute" is enough to put my confidence to sky high!

hahaha.

right now, i have a boyfriend.

then there were guys who asked me, if they could court me.

but, instead of the flattered feelings and whatnots, i feel.... NOT so good about it.

KINIKILABUTAN ako.

maybe because, i just don't want it.

i respect my boyfriend, so i don't entertain them.

and i want guys to be my friends not another complication in my life.

i just dont feel good about it.

haha.

grabe, sobrang kinakabahan ako sa lahat ng mga ginagawa ko. siguro nagmukha na akong weird sa harap ng maraming tao. kasi nung una, hindi ko alam kung paano pakikitunguhan ung ka-groupmate ko na gustong manligaw sa akin. kaya para akong tuod tuwing naiiwan kami. eeewww naman kasi! ayoko talaga ng mga taong may balak manligaw sa akin. binabalutan ako ng kilabot. second, nakita ko kasi si paul tapos andaming mga former classmates ko, parang weird lang siguro tingnan. pero it turned out na masaya kasi naghahanap ng prospects ang mga former classmates ko nang mapicturan at tamang-tama nakita ko yung old schoolmate ko. tawa lang kami ng tawa. tapos after nun pinuntahan ko boyfriend ko. diyos ko! siguro kung may hinirang na best actress in making up lies due to nervousness (haba!), ako na siguro ang nanalo sa first place! grabe! ang bilis kong gumawa ng maiisip na importanteng dahilan upang istorbohin siya sa ginagawa nilang theses! shockers! naguon parang halos gusto ko nalang humagalpak ng tawa! as in! after all the ka-weirduhan at kakenkoyan at kalokohan na naisip ko, parang ewan ko, sa sobrang tension ko (pero ngayon narelieve na) gusto kong tumawa ng tumawa ng tumawa parang isang baliw! hahahahahhaa!

this day is sooooo shockers!

i'm so pissed!

shit! grabe as in sobrang pinaghirapan ko yung lintik na filipino research paper tapos nagastos ko pa ang pera na iniipon ko para lang dun tapos hindi rin pala mapapass! nabubuwisit ako as in sobra! bumabawi na nga lang ako sa mga grado ko pero mukhang wala pa ring saysay kasi palpak pa rin silang lahat! shit naman oo! tapos ang walang kwenta ko pang boyfriend ay nawawala sa tuwing kelangan ko siya. buwisit. naubos na ang load ko sa kakatext na tawagan ako pero ni ha ni ho wala man lang ako matatanggap! shit! shit! shit kayong lahat! mga walang kwenta! bwist!

gosh! i feel like a zombie!

people are talking to me but i seem not to hear them!

i lack sleep so much!

there are too many stuffs to do!

such a stressful life i live in!

haha..

oh my gosh..

i also feel really really bad!

i've been cutting my classes just to study for my biochemistry but right now...

my brain doesn't want to function!

as you can see, i am goofing off... BIG TIME!

hahahaa!

hahaha!

hahahah!


i am hyper!

rusty little scatterbrain

my brain is like a rusty little metal

it can't function because of all the rust!

too slow to even move or life the tiniest object!

i can't process anything!

while studying last night, i can't seem to make my brain process all the information...

sigh..

that is what i hate when i go back to school after a long and lazy vaxcation!

New Beginnings

well, this was my old blog address but i totally deleted the previous entries of this blog.
i don't know, there is just something with this address that i just can't change.
maybe, i just got use to it.
haha.
weird? neh?
hahahaha.
so it's 2008!
a new year!
a new life!
i guess i better start changing things about myself..
i don't know if i would live up to that promise..
but i'm trying..
hahaha
wish me luck!